On 23rd July 2024 the College of Policing and National Police Chiefs’ Council published the first National Policing Statement 2024 about Violence Against Women and Girls.
The very first sentence in this significant report describes violence against women and girls (VAWG) – including domestic abuse – as having reached ‘epidemic levels’ in the UK. It refers to the data that informed the Statement as ‘staggering’. It goes on to say: “At least 1 in every 12 women will be victims of VAWG per year (2 million victims) and we expect the exact number to be higher”. One in twelve. It is time we heard their voices and challenged that reality. Here is one of those voices.
Caroline’s Story
Caroline’s life at home had become impossible to bear. She and her husband had three young children and were buying their own home. But her husband was jealous and possessive and needed to know where she was and who she was with at all times. He didn’t allow her to work – he accused her of a having affairs and didn’t allow her to wear make-up if he wasn’t around. He would check her phone to see who she was in contact with. Not surprisingly, her friends and family didn’t feel welcome and she lost all contact with those who could have supported her.
Her husband made it clear to Caroline that she would regret it if she ever thought of leaving him, and would regularly joke about ending her life and ‘getting away with it’. When he attacked her and tried to strangle her, she knew that she had to do something and the next day she went to the local council to ask for help. She knew he would continue to harass and threaten her, but Caroline couldn’t take anymore. She also reported the assault to the Police who arrested her husband and charged him for his violence and his coercive behaviour.
Even though she had left, life was still really difficult for Caroline. She and her children were placed in bed and breakfast, the local refuge was full and she didn’t want to take her children out of school and move to a completely different area. Her husband called her and the children constantly – pleading, joking, interrogating and threatening. There were times when she almost went home – just to make it stop.
Caroline felt desperate and did not know where to turn when she first called the West Mercia Women’s Aid Helpline. A specialist worker was introduced to her and provided her with the support and advice that she needed to move forward. The Police reviewed her husband’s bail conditions and the calls and harassment soon stopped. The council were reminded of their duty towards her – even though she jointly owned a property – and she and the children were moved into suitable accommodation. Caroline felt able to contact family and friends and re-build the relationships with those who had been closest to her. She now feels that she and her children have a future to look forward to.
“It’s hard to describe how defeated and hopeless I felt when I first contacted West Mercia Women’s Aid. But they gave me the information and support I needed to be able to take some small steps forward – take back some control over my life. I went from feeling desperate to being determined that the children and I would survive this and be happy. And we’re getting there – bit by bit.”
For information about help and support click here.