On 23rd July 2024 the College of Policing and National Police Chiefs’ Council published the first National Policing Statement 2024 about Violence Against Women and Girls.
The very first sentence in this significant report describes violence against women and girls (VAWG) – including domestic abuse – as having reached ‘epidemic levels’ in the UK. It refers to the data that informed the Statement as ‘staggering’. It goes on to say: “At least 1 in every 12 women will be victims of VAWG per year (2 million victims) and we expect the exact number to be higher”. One in twelve. It is time we heard their voices and challenged that reality. Here is one of those voices.
Sarah’s Story
Some days I feel confident and capable.
Other days, I’m just getting through.There are moments when everything feels heavy at once, responsibilities, expectations, and the quiet pressure to keep going even when I feel exhausted. For a long time, I believed I had to manage everything on my own. I thought asking for help meant I had failed somehow. Looking back now, I realise how much I was carrying and how difficult that period of my life really was.
My relationship had become increasingly controlling and unpredictable. What started as something that felt intense and close quickly became overwhelming. I found myself constantly trying to manage someone else’s behaviour, worrying about how things might escalate, and feeling responsible for keeping the peace. Over time I became isolated and exhausted, and it began to affect every part of my life, my home, my finances, my work, and my wellbeing.
Things eventually escalated to a frightening incident where I felt trapped in my own home and unable to leave safely. In that moment, everything became very real. I knew that something had to change, but I still felt conflicted. I cared about him and believed that if he got the right help things might improve. At the same time, I knew I could not keep living with the fear and uncertainty.
When I first spoke to Women’s Aid, I didn’t know what to expect. I was nervous about sharing what had been happening and worried that I might be judged. Instead, I was met with patience and understanding. The person on the helpline listened to me without interrupting or questioning my feelings. For the first time in a long time, I felt heard and believed.
At that point, my life felt like it was unravelling. I was struggling with rent arrears, financial pressures, and the emotional impact of everything that had happened. Even simple things felt overwhelming. The support I received from Women’s Aid helped me begin to make sense of what I had been through.
They supported me with practical things that made a real difference, including helping me access emergency financial support and a foodbank referral when money was tight. Just knowing that someone was there to help with those immediate pressures lifted some of the weight I had been carrying.
I was also introduced to a specialist safety worker who helped me understand my options and supported me through the process of improving my safety. Having someone explain things clearly and help me navigate conversations with other professionals helped me feel less alone. For a long time I had felt like everything was my responsibility, but through that support I began to realise that there were people who genuinely wanted to help.
What has stayed with me most are the small moments of kindness and reassurance. Someone checking in to see how I was doing. Someone explaining something in a way that made sense when I felt overwhelmed. Someone reminding me that my feelings mattered.
Those moments helped me begin to rebuild my confidence and trust again.
I’m still learning. There are still days where I doubt myself or feel overwhelmed by everything that has happened. But I now understand that resilience doesn’t mean being unaffected by challenges. It means continuing, even when things are difficult, and allowing yourself the space to heal.
Recovery isn’t about everything suddenly becoming perfect. It’s about taking small steps forward and recognising the progress you’ve made along the way.
For me, that means focusing on my future, rebuilding stability in my life, and remembering that I don’t have to face things alone.
That’s what I hold onto now, progress, not perfection.
See the full One in Twelve series here