Talking to Young People About Relationships

Talking to Young People About Relationships

Whether you’re a parent, carer, or professional, starting conversations with young people about their intimate relationships can feel daunting. Many adults worry about saying the wrong thing or not knowing how to respond. But while it may feel challenging for us, it is often even harder for young people to reach out, ask for help, or begin these conversations themselves.

Navigating relationships isn’t easy at any age. Adults can struggle to set boundaries, spot unhealthy behaviours, or recognise when a relationship has become abusive. For young people, the pressures are even greater — with peer influence, hormonal changes, developing brains, and the constant impact of social media shaping their experiences.

Why Your Example Matters

Children and young people learn most about relationships by watching the adults around them. They absorb far more from what they see than from what they are told.

You can model healthy behaviours by:

• Showing how you set and maintain boundaries

• Demonstrating emotional regulation

• Managing conflict in healthy, respectful and assertive ways

These everyday experiences help shape their understanding of what safe and healthy relationships look like.

Creating a Safe Space for Conversations

It’s important to create an environment where young people feel able to talk openly and honestly. These conversations don’t need to wait until they’re already in a relationship — discussing what healthy relationships look like beforehand helps build confidence and awareness.

Here are some conversation prompts you can use:

• What is important to you in a relationship?

• What qualities would you look for in a partner?

• How should someone behave if they care about you?

• How do you think you deserve to be treated?

• How do you feel when you’re with them?

• What boundaries would you want in a relationship?

• Is anything about your partner or relationship worrying?

• What do your friends think about your relationship?

• What would your family think?

• What advice would you give a friend in this situation?

• What are the pros and cons of your relationship?

If You’re Worried About a Young Person’s Relationship

Check in with them
Let them know you’re there to listen without judgement. Support and empower them to make informed decisions — lecturing or telling them what to do may push them away.

Ask if they feel safe
Explore whether they ever feel frightened, threatened or pressured into doing things they are uncomfortable with.

Remind them of their autonomy
Reinforce that they always have the right to say no. Their choices and boundaries should be respected.

Be clear that abuse is never acceptable
Help them understand that abusive or disrespectful behaviour is never justified. While trauma, mental health difficulties or substance use may influence behaviour, abuse is a choice — and they are not to blame.

Explore other sources of support
Young people might feel more comfortable speaking to someone outside their immediate circle. Encourage them to reach out to:

• Another trusted family member

• A teacher or school counsellor

• A youth worker or professional

Need More Support?

If you would like further advice or support for a child or young person, please visit our webpage to find out more about the services offered by our Children and Young People’s Team or to submit a referral:

👉 Children and Young People’s Services

You can also contact our team directly with any questions at: CYP@wmwa.org.uk