On 23rd July 2024 the College of Policing and National Police Chiefs’ Council published the first National Policing Statement 2024 about Violence Against Women and Girls.
The very first sentence in this significant report describes violence against women and girls (VAWG) – including domestic abuse – as having reached ‘epidemic levels’ in the UK. It refers to the data that informed the Statement as ‘staggering’. It goes on to say: “At least 1 in every 12 women will be victims of VAWG per year (2 million victims) and we expect the exact number to be higher”. One in twelve. It is time we heard their voices and challenged that reality. Here is one of those voices.
Marie’s Story
Marie contacted our Helpline after realising something was wrong in her marriage. After talking through her situation, we offered her some individual support to better understand her circumstances and work out what she wanted to do. Marie is in her late 60s and described a relationship of twenty years characterised by neglect, as well as verbal, financial and physical abuse. Today she reflects: “If I went back to look at what I had been living in compared to now I would be very shocked.”
A support worker from West Mercia Women’s Aid worked with her through pre-planned phone calls, making sure that any contact was at times when Marie was on her own and safe to talk. They arranged to meet, and Marie had the opportunity to describe in detail what had been happening in her relationship for the first time, and to explain why she felt that she needed help. As she talked, she was able to process the impact of her husband’s abusive behaviour and how it had affected her over so many years. Through weekly sessions Marie realised that she could no longer live that way. WMWA helped Marie to get support from the local authority and to explore ways of safely leaving the relationship, but she was understandably worried about what her husband might do if she chose to move out. There is a great deal of evidence to show that the time when a woman prepares to leave a violent relationship can be difficult and dangerous and is often a period when that violence may escalate. We helped Marie to find space in a refuge that was suitable for her, and co-ordinated the hiring of a removal van and a storage unit. Support from the Police was arranged and they met Marie at her address and made sure that she was able to move her belongings out safely.
Naturally, Marie is anxious about how she would manage on her own: her health is not good and she is worried about starting over at her time of life. But she has found the courage to take that first step and is looking forward to the future. “All I want is to be in my own pensioner’s property, in a community with women around my age and a nice swing in the garden so I can sit outside. I’m still young at heart”.
See the full One in Twelve series here