On 23rd July 2024, the first National Policing Statement on Violence Against Women and Girls was published. The report highlights that at least 1 in 12 women will be victims of male violence each year, though the real number is likely higher. We are committed to ensuring this report – and the truths it reveals – are not forgotten. For every newsletter, we ask one of the women who has recently used West Mercia Women’s Aid’s services to share their story.
This month, we share Alicia’s story.
Before I contacted Women’s Aid, I felt trapped.
My partner controlled almost every aspect of my life. He monitored where I went, controlled our finances, isolated me from family and friends, and made me feel like I had no options. I was constantly worried about saying or doing the wrong thing and lived with the fear of how he might react.
At the time, I was caring for my three young children, including my newborn baby and my eldest child who has additional needs. Deep down, I knew things were not right, but leaving felt impossible. I worried about how I would support my children, where we would live, and whether I could cope on my own. My partner controlled all of our money, and I had very little access to finances of my own. The financial abuse made me feel completely dependent on him.
When I finally contacted West Mercia Women’s Aid, I was listened to without judgement. For the first time, I felt that someone truly understood what I was experiencing. The team helped me recognise that what I was living through was abuse and worked with me to safely explore my options. Together, we talked about my children’s safety, created a safety plan, and looked at the support available to us.
Making the decision to leave was one of the hardest things I have ever done.
With the support of Women’s Aid, I was able to access refuge accommodation for myself and my children. Knowing there was somewhere safe for us to go gave me the confidence to take that step.
When we arrived at refuge, the staff welcomed us and helped us settle in. They understood the additional needs of my eldest child and worked hard to ensure we received the right support. They helped me access other services, liaised with professionals on our behalf, and guided us through what was an incredibly overwhelming and emotional time.
One of the biggest changes was regaining control of my finances. Staff supported me to contact my bank, secure my accounts, update my details, and begin addressing the financial abuse I had experienced. It was the first time in a long time that I felt I had some control over my own life again.
Today, my children and I are safe.
We still face challenges, but I feel stronger, more confident, and more hopeful about the future. I am making decisions for myself and my children without fear, and we are beginning to rebuild our lives together.
The support I received from Women’s Aid has been life-changing. It gave me the opportunity to create a safer future for my family and to believe that a different life was possible.
If sharing my story helps even one person realise they are not alone, then it is worth telling.
See the full One in Twelve series here