On 23rd July 2024, the first National Policing Statement on Violence Against Women and Girls was published. The report highlights that at least 1 in 12 women will be victims of male violence each year, though the real number is likely higher. We are committed to ensuring this report – and the truths it reveals – are not forgotten. As part of our One in Twelve series, we share the stories and experiences of women who have accessed support from West Mercia Women’s Aid. This month, Sarah has shared her experience of accessing our support and the difference being part of a recovery group has made to her.
Michelle’s story
I first contacted West Mercia Women’s Aid over a year and a half ago. I was at my lowest point. I didn’t know who to turn to, and a work colleague encouraged me to speak to them after seeing me in bits. At that time, I was almost in denial about the abuse. I had suffered for over 15 years, convincing myself it was all in my own head and that it wasn’t really that bad. I had separated from my husband a year earlier, but the abuse continued even after we separated.
After being signposted to other domestic abuse support workers, I was invited to join a recovery group. Since then, I have completed four programmes: Freedom, Power to Change, Recovery Toolkit and Nurture. I will never forget my first day. I sat quietly in my chair, too scared to speak. For the first few sessions, I hardly said a word. I felt like I didn’t exist anymore. I didn’t know who I was or what my future looked like. Going through the family courts made me feel incredibly alone. Helen was our group leader, and I cannot put into words what a wonderful, kind and beautiful human being she is. She helped put the light back into my life.
As the weeks went on, I became more comfortable. I found my voice again and was able to talk about what had happened and how it had affected me. For the first time, I felt no judgement and no shame. All I felt was support, understanding and kindness. I was one of a group of eight women who attended all four programmes together. As we went through Freedom, Power to Change, Recovery Toolkit and Nurture, we became great friends and began supporting each other outside of the sessions too.
The women in the group became my safe place. They listened, they encouraged me, they celebrated my good days and held me up on the difficult ones. They have become true friends – people I can turn to, who guide me in the right direction, who hug me when I’m sad and hug me when I’m happy. Even though our groups have now finished, we still meet up regularly. The friendships we made have continued beyond the sessions, and I know I have people around me who understand what I have been through.
I’ve learnt so much since joining WMWA. I’ve learnt about the warning signs I’d recognised before, but more importantly, I’ve learnt to smile again. I’ve learnt to laugh again. I’ve learnt that what happened to me was never my fault. I will never be the person I was before I met my ex-partner, and I’ll never be the person I was while I was with him.
“I am a new me, and I like the new me.”
I honestly don’t believe I would have reached this place without Helen and everyone in the group. To anybody who is reading this and is in a similar situation, please be patient and be kind to yourself. You are in the right place. With the support of WMWA, things really can get better.
At the beginning, I often felt unsure and wondered if I was doing the right thing, but looking back now, joining these groups was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. I truly wouldn’t be the person I am today without Helen, WMWA and the incredible women in this group. There is hope, and one day you’ll look back and realise just how far you’ve come.
Thank you, Helen, and thank you to every single woman in the group. You have all played a part in helping me find myself again, and I will be forever grateful.
— Michelle
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